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How To Get Your Husband Back

If you’re asking yourself this question, then your husband has either physically or emotionally left the marriage. However, you don’t want a divorce or separation and you are wondering how to get your husband back.

Contrary to what some people believe, it is absolutely possible to save a marriage when you’re the only one who wants to do so.  Obviously your husband is going to have to ‘get on board’ eventually. But no matter what the situation is between you and your husband, from being on trial separation, constant fighting, detachment between both of you to him even leaving you, it’s still possible to save your marriage.

Step One:  Don’t Panic.

This seems so obvious, but it’s the number one mistake that wives make.  Anytime the words “divorce,” “trial separation,” or “splitting up,” are even hinted at, wives panic.  And when they panic, they go into overdrive and act in ways that are not typical of them and can seem very unattractive to their husbands.

I understand why we do this because I did it too. Your thoughts are telling you that the longer your husband is gone, the harder it is going to be win him back.  So, you feel like you have to do something drastic immediately to change his mind and get him home.  While this thinking seems to make sense, it will drive you to do desperate things that will really push your husband further away.

A wife who acts irrationally and panicked and who’s calling, texting, following, or arguing all of the time is going to be a wife that a husband wants to get away from that much more.  Don’t fall into this trap and panic.  It will hurt your chances of getting your husband back more than it helps them.

Step Two: Set The Stage For Getting The Feelings Back By Finding Something You Can Agree On.

The biggest thing in how to get your husband back is often not what most people think.  Most people assume that external factors like another woman is keeping their husband away. Or sometimes, insurmountable problems, stress in general, or financial difficulties. All of these things are a symptom of a problem marriage; it’s not the real cause.  The real reason husbands often leave is that they’ve lost the feelings that the relationship used to give them.  They no longer feel intimate and connected; they don’t know how to or don’t want to (at least right now) retrieve these positive feelings.

To get your husband back, you need to get the feelings to return as quickly as you can (without taking drastic, unbecoming actions.)  You’ll never get close to your husband if he’s always avoiding you or isn’t receptive to you.

You don’t want to be on opposite sides or be arguing with him or be confrontational. Instead, you want to be on his side (or at least make him think that you are). You do this by agreeing with him. Of course, what you chose to agree upon will depend upon your situation.  You may agree that the marriage needs work, or that he needs a break, or you may just pretend to agree with what he states is the cause of “wanting out.”

Before you become too resistant to trying this, remember you’re doing it as a way to ultimately get what you want.  Ask yourself if you’d rather be right all the time or if you’d rather be happy.  Don’t let anger or holding on to injustices keep you from reaching your goal.

Understand that pretending to agree with your husband will immediately lessen any anger, tension, or awkwardness and this will put you in a much better place to repair your marriage.

Step Three: Make Your Husband Want To Come Back To You By  Presenting The Best Version Of Yourself.

Once you’ve at least pretended to agree and your husband and he becomes more receptive to you, then, every chance you get, you want to present him with the woman he first fell in love with.

This can be tricky.  You don’t want to be that nagging, hanging on wife that we discussed earlier. The one who follows him around or acts like she is trying too hard. Your husband can’t suspect or think that that you’re playing insincere games or have some sinister plan to get him back.  If he does, he’ll just become more resistant and the process will be harder.

Instead, you want to demonstrate that although you love your husband and very much want him back, you also love yourself enough to live your life as the attractive, intriguing, interesting, busy, full-of-life woman he first fell in love with.

This means that you get out and see friends, you pursue old hobbies and the things that made you happy, and you work on yourself.  I promise this will bring your husband closer to you rather than further away.  He’s likely going to become intrigued and wonder what is up with this new you. Please think about the woman your husband first fell in love with and honestly evaluate how far you are from her today and make adjustments.

And, I’m not just talking about looks and youth.  In fact, that’s really the least important thing (although you should absolutely look your personal best when you interact with your husband).  What’s most important is that you’re able to return the positive, loving, and empathetic feelings that made your husband want to marry you in the first place. This will make getting him back so much easier. The truth is, you’re probably closer to getting your husband back than you think.

Why? Because you’ve already made him fall in love with you once.  Therefore, you intuitively know what you have to do to make your husband fall in love with you again.

So, get moving.  And reintroduce yourself, (so you can eventually reintroduce your husband) to your old, engaging, loving, captivating self. Because in the end, (if you play your cards right and implement these methods in a convincing way), this is how to get your husband back

How do I know this? Because I lived it. I had to use this approach to get my husband back when I trying to save my marriage – and was the only one who wanted to. I made a lot of mistakes, but eventually I was able to change course and regain my husband’s interest.

Over time (and by taking calculated baby steps), I was able to reestablish intimacy and get him back.

By Leslie Cane

Leslie found the information at The Magic of Making Up to be both helpful and inspirational in saving her marriage.

 

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How To Get Wife Back

When you and your wife broke up and went your separate ways, the last thing on your mind was thinking: how to get wife back. Really, wanting to get your ex wife back was inconceivable.

But, time has now passed. All of the hurt and anger has begun to fade. In fact, it’s likely you don’t even remember what caused the split… what the arguments were about… or even if it was your idea or your ex’s idea that the break up should happen.

If you think you made a mistake; if you think you would like to reconcile; if all you’re worried about is getting her back; I’ll be honest with you…

It won’t be easy.

Granted, every situation is different. Every breakup has its own set of unique dynamics that drove both of you to make this decision.

There are plenty of relationship advice gurus that talk about how important it is to rekindle whatever you had at the beginning.

The truth is that people change. There is a real possibility that what she liked in the beginning could be more annoying than attractive at this point. It makes more sense to look at things that she’s responded to recently. Chemistry is an important ingredient that will help you get your ex wife back. Sometimes, things that seem insignificant to you can make a huge difference.

That being said, there are some basic ‘rules’ that will apply regardless of the circumstances and conditions of your split.

How to get wife back

Getting your ex wife back is going to require a significant amount of time and effort. A woman is driven by her feelings and emotions. The fact that the relationship ended generally indicates that her emotional needs were not being met.

Speaking of feelings and emotions… also, remember that anxious feelings on your part can make you react in all of the wrong ways. In fact, as you will see, what you may think is charming and cute is actually perceived as being bizarre… and kind of weird.

Without a specific action plan to get your ex wife back, your goal to get your ex wife back will end in failure.

The good news is there are basic patterns of human nature you can use in your approach. So instead of resisting them, learn what works and use them to your advantage.

Avoid the pity ploy

Forget about trying to make her feel sorry for you.

Even it did work (it doesn’t 99.97% of the time), do you really think having her pity you is the basis for a successful reconciliation?

Even if she does feel sorry for you, I can guarantee those emotions are NOT the ones you want to target in your quest to get her back. Those are the same feelings she has when she sees a lost cause or someone with disabilities – and you don’t want to be identified in those categories, do you?

So… do you regularly call your wife? Do email her about every little thing? Are you texting her a dozen times a day?

If you answered ‘yes’ to any of these questions… STOP doing this… NOW!

These things will not earn for her pity. Instead, she will think that you’re pathetic.

Don’t even think about doing these 5 things:

1.   Don’t be a pushover. Even if she complained you were suffocating and overbearing, that doesn’t mean she is attracted to a pansy or someone she can turn into her whipping boy. Learn from your mistakes… but never be a patsy, either. She will never respect you if cave in to her every whim. Make no mistake, she will be testing you.

Learn to disagree without being disagreeable. Make your point without stabbing her with it. You’re entitled to your opinion – so is she. BIG POINT: When you are wrong, just god damn admit it. You are not abandoning your pride by doing this. You will simply be demonstrating that you are a reasonable guy.

2.   Don’t bother with gifts and flowers at this point. That works when you’re married. Giving them now will just make you look like an idiot. That isn’t how to get wife back. If she’s not attracted to you right now, she won’t consider reconciling unless she can get the old feelings back. All of the gifts in the world won’t make a bit of difference in how she views you now.

3.   No matter what, don’t try to make her jealous. This is not how to get your wife back. She isn’t going to be running back just because she’s heard you’re dating a new woman. She’ll simply be more convinced than ever that the marriage is really over.

4.   Don’t become a crazy stalker. It isn’t attractive… in fact, it’s downright creepy. Following her, spying on her, chasing her around isn’t going to help your cause. She’s the one that has to make the decision to come back. You won’t convince her with harassment.

5.   Don’t be afraid to seek professional help. Really.

Most men resist the idea of counseling. It goes against their nature to ask for help; especially for this type of problem. If you really want to get your ex wife back, don’t take the idea of counseling off of the table. You just may discover there is a perspective you’ve been missing.

If the break-up was your fault, the best thing to do is to genuinely apologize for hurting her. This is going to accomplish more than anything you can say or do.

An apology is just the starting point. Also explain WHY you are sorry; tell her you understand how deeply your conduct has hurt her. She will have to really believe you won’t hurt her again.

And this, my friend, usually requires time. How much depends upon the nature of the transgression and the disposition of your ex wife. How to get wife back is never a simple task… but it can be done.

By supporting and respecting her, and showing her you are capable of giving her everything that she requires emotionally, it is possible to get your ex wife back.

 

Posted in How To Get Wife BackComments (94)

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